"What advice do you have for dating your freshman year of college?"
Why it's not wise to date your freshman year
One of the most anticipated things about arriving at university tends to be the dating pool. There are so many new people in the same place for the first time—it’s a hopeless romantic’s dream.
I remember how quickly people started pairing off into couples within the first week of being on campus. It felt like a modern-day Noah’s ark.
My friends and I coined this rushed dating movement as “the freshman frenzy.” This freshman frenzy was almost as contagious as the coronavirus. We were genuinely shocked at how fast people wanted to jump into relationships.
The truth is that moving into college is an incredibly exciting and monumental experience. There is so much change going on, and while it can be easier to cling onto one person, it is not actually healthier for the longevity of your time at school. Often when people do this, the neglect building friendships because they are so consumed within their new relationship.
Because of this, I would encourage you to not feel pressured to date your freshman year. Despite what everyone may be doing around you, you don’t have to date your freshman year. Honestly, I would highly discourage it.
Instead, use this time to pour into making friends and building community around you. Focus on finding your people and trust that love will come when the timing is right.
One issue that comes when dating your freshman year, is that you dedicate so much time into this new relationship, you unintentionally forfeit building other friendships. Then when sophomore year comes around, if you break up, you’re left without any community to walk alongside you through this difficult time. You do not want to end up in this situation.
It is so much more important to be present where you are than to throw yourself into the deep end of a relationship.
Additionally, your senior self is going to be so different from who you are today. Every year of college I grew so much, and the men I would have dated my freshman year are very different from who I would choose to date now. Not that they were bad guys, I’ve just grown so much— and you will too! You will look back on your freshman self-one day and almost laugh at how different you are. This growth is normal and good, but because of it, don’t rush to tie yourself down with someone when you are still figuring out who you are.
Not only that, but if you start dating, you’re going to have to wait 4 years to get married… If I were you, I’d focus on your besties in this season and trust that love will come. The Lord is faithful to provide in His timing. By setting boundaries, you are not going to miss what God has in store for your life.
Okay I know what you’re thinking, “Mary Margaret, I met THE guy, you just don’t understand.” Oh, but I do. The thing about advice and wisdom is that it is not always a “one size fits all.” Maybe you have met the right guy already, and if that is the case, I am so excited for you! I would caution you to move forward with discernment and always assume that you’re the rule and not the exception. It never hurts to wait a year and see where you both are.
If you do choose to date your freshman year, make sure you are still investing into new friendships. Do not devote all your time into this new relationship but set some boundaries to make sure you are still present for the other new people within your life.
And if you choose to wait to date until later in college, you are not going to miss out on who God has for you. I promise if he really is the right guy, he will be secure enough in himself to wait a year to date you. There is no need to rush it. You are not going to miss what God has in store for your life. I am cheering you on friend!
xoxo,
Mary Margaret
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